5 Best Relationship Books
Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work by David D. Burns
This book has been eye opening as a marriage counselor. I have found that there was something missing from my couples counseling sessions and this is exactly what was missing. This book talks about the truth about our “shadow self” and explains that we might want to pretend that our intentions are always good but the truth is we actually desire the feeling of righteous indigence. We want to be right, it feels good and we are rewarded for that feeling. This is way the you versus me is so consuming. Feeling like a victim can be a good, safe and rewarding space to be in. This is a great book if you really want to take a look at this idea of what you can do different versus your significant other. If you are interested in individual counseling to work on your relationship or couples counseling please feel free to contact Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS by clicking here. If you want to learn more about Laurie Groh and her counseling services click here.
This book has been a great resource for my couples that are struggling with either side of an affair. This book gives direction and hope. It gives very specific tools on how to move on from an affair and gives a realistic outlook on what it takes to rebuild it. Often the one that has the affair is very eager and quick to want to move on and this book shares information on why that is not the best way to recover as a couple and explains the reasons why. This also holds the other partner accountable for their role in the relationship issues without blaming them for the affair.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can – and Should – Be Saved Lundy Bancroft (Author), JAC Patrissi (Author), Stephen R.
When I work with couples I often run into an issue with one of the partners wanting to work on the marriage and the other one wanting to leave (or highly considering leaving). This leaning out partner typically has low motivation for couples counseling. Discernment counseling is not marriage counseling (which will not work if one couple is leaning out) Discernment counseling is helping couples decide what path to take: 1) say in the same relationship, 2)marriage counseling or 3) divorce or separate. This ensures that the couple is not wasting time or money with couples counseling. The goal is to help make the decision clearer by looking at all of the information. If you are interested in individual or couples discernment counseling please feel free to contact Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS by clicking here. If you want to learn more about Laurie Groh and her counseling services click here.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
by John Gottman, Nan Silver
This book is my go-to relationship book. It includes these extremely important topic.
- Proven tools to help couples
- Improve friendship, fondness and admiration
- Enhance romance and intimacy
- Manage conflict constructively
- Gain skills to address perpetual and solvable problems
- Create shared meaning
- Maintain gains throughout a lifetime
It has been so valuable to my practice that I became a 7 Principles Educator. This book has helped my couples with the guidelines on how to connect and how to listen to each other. One thing that I know from years of working with couples is that we all want to be heard. Bottom line- you need to hear to be heard. This book gives great information on why it is difficult and how we can change. I also offer a class on 7 Principles for Making a Marriage Work. If you want to enroll in an upcoming class contact Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS by clicking here. If you want to learn more about the 7 Principles class click 7PP workshop flyer 2018.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson
This book shows couples the underlying attachment feelings that are under the resentment, anger and detaching behavior. This book has been a wonderful addition to my couple’s lives because it helps each person to see that under the negativity there is desire to connect but the fear overpowers this desire to connect. This book gives couples language to use and discusses the common cycles or dances that a couples do. This book helps couples discover what those are and how to stop the negative patterns.