Tag Archives: relationship

Bringing Baby Home

The Bringing Baby Home program is a research based and research tested program ready to help new families get the best start possible. Although welcoming a new baby into your home is a joyous event, it also brings with it relational stress, family adjustment, and often postpartum depression which ultimately effects parent-child interaction and infant development. Research shows that within three years after birth of a child, approximately two-thirds of couples experience a significant drop in the quality of their relationship and have a dramatic increase in conflict and hostility (Gottman).

This 12-hour workshop helps parents gain relationship/communication skills, to regulate conflict, discover each other on a deeper level and prepares them to be partners in parenting while continuing to grow a loving couple relationship. The Gottmans’ research shows that this workshop helps couples to enhance their relationship satisfaction after the birth of their child.

My first observation of this program, having been married for 8 years with 2 kids and 2 on the way, was, “I so wish I would have went!” The insights and workable relationship tools are invaluable to get to know your partner and your children more intimately on a continuing basis and have skills to work through the everyday stresses of life.

In this 3-day workshop, presented in either a weekend format or as a series, parents will learn to:

  • Intimacy and conflict regulation skills Interact with your baby in a positive way
  • Keep both parents involved
  • Deal with conflict successfully
  • Stay connected with your partner
  • Strengthen your friendship
  • Learn how to cope constructively with the changes brought about by the birth of a child.
  • Learn how to promote the development of a healthier infant and assist your child in their emotional, social, cognitive, and physical development.
  • Learn how to deal with the “baby blues” and decrease the chance of post partum depression.
  • Learn valuable insights from a research based and research tested program.
  • Create a family legacy.
  • Learn how to give your child the gift of a happy and healthy family.

Dates: January 3, 10 & 17 9am-1pm

for more information: email Laurie Groh laurie@grohhealthyliving.com
to register on-line http://shoreside.setmore.com/bookclass
DEADLINE: Dec. 18th

COST: $300, per couple for full workshop

Babies are welcome!!!

 

Bringing Baby Home Program

Bringing Baby Home Program

Classes At Shoreside Therapies In Whitefish Bay, WI

What is the Bringing Baby Home Program about? Information from Gottman Institute
Even the strongest relationships are strained during the transition to parenthood. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework and new fiscal concerns can lead to profound stress and a decline in marital satisfaction – all of which affect baby’s care. Not surprisingly, 69% of new parents experience conflict, disappointment and hurt feelings. Our research-based Bringing Baby Home workshops prepare couples for life with baby and helps them be the best parenting team possible. In a relaxed and supportive environment, parents learn to strengthen their relationship and foster baby’s development during this challenging time. They build on what Dr. Gottman and colleagues found is the best predictor of marital adjustment after baby arrives: the quality of friendship in the marriage. Email Laurie Groh for more details laurie@grohhealthyliving.com

Laurie Groh

Shoreside Therapies

Whitefish Bay, WI

Bringing Baby Home Program

Bringing Baby Home Program

Classes At Shoreside Therapies In Whitefish Bay, WI

What is the Bringing Baby Home Program about? Information from Gottman Institute
Even the strongest relationships are strained during the transition to parenthood. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework and new fiscal concerns can lead to profound stress and a decline in marital satisfaction – all of which affect baby’s care. Not surprisingly, 69% of new parents experience conflict, disappointment and hurt feelings. Our research-based Bringing Baby Home workshops prepare couples for life with baby and helps them be the best parenting team possible. In a relaxed and supportive environment, parents learn to strengthen their relationship and foster baby’s development during this challenging time. They build on what Dr. Gottman and colleagues found is the best predictor of marital adjustment after baby arrives: the quality of friendship in the marriage. Email Laurie Groh for more details laurie@grohhealthyliving.com

Laurie Groh

Shoreside Therapies

Whitefish Bay, WI

Anger Management for Parents

Stop Screaming Anger Management for Parents

As a parent of 2 little ones, I understand the stress and the joy that they bring.  In this seminar we will discuss

  • parenting techniques
  • ways to take care of yourself
  • managing anger
  • quit beating yourself up
  • make anger your ally-finding the purpose of it
  • become aware of high risk situations

To register for Stop Screaming Anger Management for Parents click here.

This seminar has the capability of becoming a 6 week class.

Please [aio_button align=”center” animation=”bounce” color=”orange” size=”small” icon=”inbox” text=”Email me” relationship=”author” url=”mailto:laurie@grohhealthyliving.com”]

if you would like to join the waiting list, or if you have any questions about Stop Screaming Anger Management for Parents.

Laurie Groh, MS, LPC, SAS
Shoreside Therapies
4530 N Oakland Ave
Whitefish Bay, WI53211

angerparent

 

Codependence Seminar

Codependence Seminar

Are you emotionally drained. Do you feel like your life is filled with drama and you are tired of it? Have you ever thought you codependent?? Would you like simple steps to start creating healthier relationships?

I am offering a seminar and potentially a 6 week class focusing on skills to help you to create boundaries, gain more time, and gain more emotional energy!

Check it out.

Click here to register for Codependence Seminar

Codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause pain.
Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive.
We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves. These habits can lead us into, or keep us in, destructive relationships that don’t work. These behaviors can sabotage relationships that may otherwise have worked. These behaviors can prevent us from finding peace and happiness with the most important person in our lives…. ourselves. These behaviors belong to the only person we can change.. ourselves.

This seminar has the capability of becoming a 6 week class.

[aio_button align=”left” animation=”bounce” color=”orange” size=”small” icon=”inbox” text=”Email me” relationship=”author” url=”mailto:laurie@grohhealthyliving.com”]

if you would like to join the waiting list for the 6 week class, or if you have any questions about this upcoming Codependence Seminar

Laurie Groh, MS, LPC, SAS
Shoreside Therapies
4530 N Oakland Ave
Whitefish Bay, WI53211

codepence

10 Basic Truths About Keeping Your Relationship Healthy – StumbleUpon

10 Basic Truths About Keeping Your Relationship Healthy

It’s easy to make relationships more complicated than they are.

19
Share
email

I think it’s easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic rules of the relationship road that will keep you headed in the right direction.

1. Successful relationships take work. They don’t happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their hearts and heads.

2. You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table, so your partner knows what you need.

3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When upset occurs, check out what’s going on inside you rather than getting angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren’t upset for the reasons we think we are.

5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning, you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.

6. Anger is a waste of time. Anger also is a relationship killer because it makes you self-absorbed and won’t allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what’s going on for you.

7. Get regular tune-ups. Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor or read a relationship book together at least once a year. Even if you don’t think that you need ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.

8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some, this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it’s the best part of their time together.

9. Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It’s something that you have to do on your own. If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.

10. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It’s a simple program that really works.

Thank you

Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS

Mental Health Counselor at Shoreside Therapies in Whitefish Bay

There are no guarantees, but couples who practice these techniques have longer and stronger relationships than those who are not proactive in their love

Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child

Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child

Have a strong-willed child? You’re lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure. As long as parents resist the impulse to “break their will,” strong-willed kids often become leaders.

What exactly is a strong-willed, or spirited, child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see them as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. They want desperately to be right, and sometimes will put that desire above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. They have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.

Often, these kids are prone to power-struggles with their parents. However, it takes two to have a power struggle. You don’t have to attend every argument to which you’re invited! If you can take a deep breath when your buttons get pushed, and remind yourself that you can let your child save face and still get what you want, you can learn to sidestep those power struggles.

Research shows that parents who pay attention can avoid power struggles, even with strong-willed kids, by empathizing as they set limits, giving choices, and clearly offering respect. Adopting a policy of looking for win/win solutions rather than just laying down the law keeps strong-willed children from becoming explosive and teaches them essential skills of negotiation and compromise.

Strong-willed kids feel their integrity is compromised if they’re forced to submit to a parent’s will. And, really, you don’t WANT to raise an obedient child. Morality is doing what’s right, no matter what you’re told. Obedience is doing what you’re told, no matter what’s right.

Of course you want your child to do what you say. But not because he is obedient, meaning he always does what someone bigger tells him. No, you want him to do what you say because he trusts YOU, because you are the parent and have his best interests at heart. You want to raise a child who has self-discipline, takes responsibility, and is considerate — and most important, has the discernment to figure out when to trust and be influenced by someone else.

Breaking a child’s will leaves him open to the influence of others that often will not serve him. What’s more, it’s a betrayal of the spiritual contract we make as parents to nurture our child’s unique gifts.

That said, strong-willed kids can be a handful — high energy, challenging, persistent. How do we protect those fabulous qualities and encourage their cooperation?

Ten Tips for Positive Parenting Your Strong-Willed, Spirited Child

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules. That way, you aren’t bossing them around, it’s just that “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm. If you hurry, we’ll have time for two books,” or “In our house, we finish homework before computer, TV, or telephone time.” The parent stops being the bad guy.

2. Your strong-willed child wants mastery more than anything. Let her take charge of as many of her own activities as possible. Don’t nag at her to brush her teeth, ask “What else do you need to do before we leave?” If she looks blank, tick off the short list: “Every morning we eat, brush teeth, use the toilet, and pack the backpack. I saw you pack your backpack, great job! Now, what do you still need to do before we leave?” Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves will have less need to rebel and be oppositional. Not to mention they take responsibility early.

3. Give your strong-willed child choices. If you give orders, he will almost certainly bristle. If you offer a choice, he feels like the master of his own destiny. Of course, only offer choices you can live with and don’t let yourself get resentful by handing away your power. If going to the store is non-negotiable and he wants to keep playing, an appropriate choice is: “Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes?”

4. Give her authority over her own body. “I hear that you don’t want to wear your jacket today. I think it is cold and I am definitely wearing a jacket. Of course, you are in charge of your own body, as long as you stay safe and healthy, so you get to decide whether to wear a jacket. But I’m afraid that you will be cold once we are outside, and I won’t want to come back to the house. How about I put your jacket in the backpack, and then we’ll have it if you change your mind?” She’s not going to get pneumonia, unless you push her into it by acting like you’ve won if she asks for the jacket. And once she won’t lose face by wearing her jacket, she’ll be begging for it once she gets cold. It’s just hard for her to imagine feeling cold when she’s so warm right now in the house, and a jacket seems like such a hassle. She’s sure she’s right — her own body is telling her so — so naturally she resists you. You don’t want to undermine that self-confidence, just teach her that there’s no shame in letting new information change your mind.

5. Don’t push him into opposing you. Force always creates “push-back” — with humans of all ages. If you take a hard and fast position, you can easily push your child into defying you, just to prove a point. You’ll know when it’s a power struggle and you’re invested in winning. Just stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that winning a battle with your child always sets you up to lose what’s most important: the relationship. When in doubt say “Ok, you can decide this for yourself.” If he can’t, then say what part of it he can decide, or find another way for him to meet his need for autonomy without compromising his health or safety.

6. Side step power struggles by letting your child save face. You don’t have to prove you’re right. You can, and should, set reasonable expectations and enforce them. But under no circumstances should you try to break your child’s will or force him to acquiesce to your views. He has to do what you want, but he’s allowed to have his own opinions and feelings about it.

7. Listen to her. You, as the adult, might reasonably presume you know best. But your strong-willed child has a strong will partly as a result of her integrity. She has a viewpoint that is making her hold fast to her position, and she is trying to protect something that seems important to her. Only by listening calmly to her and reflecting her words will you come to understand what’s making her oppose you. A non-judgmental “I hear that you don’t want to take a bath. Can you tell me more about why?” might just elicit the information that she’s afraid she’ll go down the drain, like Alice in the song. It may not seem like a good reason to you, but she has a reason. And you won’t find it out if you get into a clash and order her into the tub.

8. See it from his point of view. For instance, he may be angry because you promised to wash his superman cape and then forgot. To you, he is being stubborn. To him, he is justifiably upset, and you are being hypocritical, because he is not allowed to break his promises to you. How do you clear this up and move on? You apologize profusely for breaking your promise, you reassure him that you try very hard to keep your promises, and you go, together, to wash the cape. You might even teach him how to wash his own clothes! Just consider how would you want to be treated, and treat him accordingly.

9. Discipline through the relationship, never through punishment. Kids don’t learn when they’re in the middle of a fight. Like all of us, that’s when adrenaline is pumping and learning shuts off. Kids behave because they want to please us. The more you fight with and punish your child, the more you undermine her desire to please you. If she’s upset, help her express her hurt, fear or disappointment, so they evaporate. Then she’ll be ready to listen to you when you remind her that in your house, everyone speaks kindly to each other.

10. Offer him respect and empathy. Most strong-willed children are fighting for respect. If you offer it to them, they don’t need to fight to protect their position. And, like the rest of us, it helps a lot if they feel understood. If you see his point of view and think he’s wrong — for instance, he wants to wear the superman cape to synagogue and you think that’s inappropriate — you can still offer him empathy and meet him part way while you set the limit. “You love this cape and wish you could wear it, don’t you? But when we go to Temple we dress up, and we can’t wear the cape. I know you’ll miss wearing it. How about we take it with us so you can wear it on our way home?”

ef=’http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1c4uvP/:PfCZ5T!1:mSa4zb3A/www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child/’>Dr. Laura Markham > Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child – StumbleUpon

Thank you

Laurie Groh, MS LPC SAS

Mental Health Counselor at Shoreside Therapies in Whitefish Bay

parenting

.